Like every Thursday, I dropped my two boys off at school today ... we call it school but it is a Parents' Day Out program. For Joseph that means he gets to play with folks his height. But the curriculum changes as the kids age. Will's 4K classroom is very close to kindergarten with structure and instruction. I know all the kids in his class. I know all the parents. It's been a warm and safe bubble for close to four years now.
My bubble is about to pop.
This week Chris and I are putting in the time to pick a kindergarten for Will. Lots of options of there ... lots of price ranges. We have taken two school tours, another one coming up and at least two more to schedule.
I don't think William will have a problem moving to a new school. He might be nervous for a second but he is my social butterfly and makes friends wherever we go. I didn't think I would have a problem with it either ... I've always secretly scoffed at moms who cry dropping their kids off. What's the big deal? The separation is just a few hours. But I'm afraid it might just be me crying when the time comes. Because the big deal is my baby is growing up and going out into the real world without protection.
Have I taught him enough to let those taunts from bullies roll off his back? What about peer pressure? I will be dropping my baby off with strangers ... what if the teacher doesn't like him? Will it be the right atmosphere for Will to learn to his potential? It's the unknowns that are putting knots in my stomach. And I've got to hide my insecurities so Will doesn't mimic them back to me.
We will feel better when we make a decision. We will have all summer to get used to the idea of going to big school. And I'll have a box of tissues with me the first day.